Operation: We Hate Relena
by itreybones
Summary: A lot of people hate Relena. I'm one of them


It was a beautiful day... until she showed up. "Heero, listen to me!" she pouted. I hate it when she does that. "Go away Relena. " I said. I thought it was pretty blunt. She obviously didn't. "Hahah, you're funny. You wanna go talk somewhere more..." She waggled her eyebrows. "...Private?" "No, I have... well, nothing. I just don't like you." I answered. She was obviously an idiot. "Ok! I'll see you later!" She kissed my cheek. I felt unclean.  
  
I passed by Trowa and Quatre on the street. "Hey, Heero." they both chimed in. "Hi." I answered. "Relena's been looking for you." he trailed off.  
  
"I hate her."  
  
"So do I."  
  
"Should we kill her?"  
  
"We can't. It's impossible. Push her out of a plane... she lives. Shoot her in the face... she lives."  
  
Quatre gnawed on a piece of jerky... "I'm anorexic."  
  
Trowa glared. "Be helpful or be quite."  
  
Quatre helped." How 'bout we hire an angry, rabid dog to tear her throat out?"  
  
Trowa and Heero were shocked.  
  
"It was an idea." Quatre pouted.  
  
"A good idea! But it's too messy."  
  
"Whelp, we have to go." Trowa and Quatre walk away.  
  
Unknown to the three Relena and Noin were watching from a giant meowth shaped hot air balloon.  
  
"To protect the world from devastation!"  
  
"This is stupid."  
  
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."  
  
"This is really stupid."  
  
"Noin, you're my best friend! Spy with me!"  
  
"No. I hate you."  
  
Noin jumped out of the balloon and left Relena floating. "I get it now! That slut Trowa's trying to take my Heero! This calls for action! "Now, how do I get rid if him?" An evil grim covered her face. She hoped into the Relenamobile (which is really a XX86 astro van) and rides to the Yaoi love Hotel. She found a nearby telephone pole and taped a hand drawn picture of Trowa dressed as a giraffe with "Trowa season: OPEN!" written across it. After pulling on her hunting gear she muttered, "Shhhhh, be vewwy vewwy quiet. I'm hunting Twowa. Huhuhuh." and tip toed in.  
  
The door of the third floor elevator opened with a "Ding!" and Relena tip toed out, and begins searching for room 728. She quickly found the room that she was looking for and heard much noise coming from behind the door. "Heero and Trowa are... no!" she screamed as she pulled out the obscenely large shotgun and blasted the door down. The smoke cleared and she saw the gundam boys all in the room. Trowa was attempting to play chess as Quatre gnawed on the king, queen, and three rooks. Wufei and Duo sat quietly in the corner obviously mad that they didn't get any lines and pouted. Heero peacefully sat on the bed and sewed a Relena voodoo doll. Trowa spoke, "Hello Relena, it's a pleasure to see you." Quatre spat a rook out at Relena then proceeded to scratch at his fleas. "Don't play dumb! I know you're trying to take my Heero! I can't let you do that!" she wailed as she pulled back her sleeve to reveal a wristband covered in blinking lights and buttons. She pushes a few and screams, "GOLDEN NEKO ZORD!"  
  
A short, but badly animated, scene began. The golden neko zord climbed out of Denton, Ohio's Worlds Largest Litter box and slowly walked to the yaoi hotel.  
  
*Editing mistake*  
  
The boys were all in their massive zords. Heero was riding Froofy Wolf, Trowa in Sticky Giraffe, Quatre was in Unholy Death Bunny of Death, Duo Was in Smelly Monkey, and Wufei was in Sad Crying Duckling in an Iron Lung. The fighting began. Relena punched, kicked, clawed, and pulled hair, and that seriously injuring the opposing pilots. Heero yelled, "our only hope is to form Super Ultra Mega Uberzord^2!" The pilots gasped "Super Ultra Mega Uberzord^2? Is it safe?" They looked to Relena, who was prepping for another attack." We have no other choice." Heero declared as he inserted his rod-key. The other boys nodded in unison and made "humph" noises before all inserting their keys. They transform into a. BIG OL' ROBOT Thing!!!  
  
To make a long story short they fought some more.  
  
bam!  
  
boom!  
  
Klaplowie!  
  
They saw a very convenient rocket ship launching. "Quatre! Detach and use your Gigantic tape dispenser that happens to be attaches to your zord!" Heero commanded, and Quatre did. The tape flew and taped Relena's Neko... thing to the rocket launching her towards the moon, and burnt her to a crisp in the atmosphere. "Let's go home!" Heero says and they do just that.  
  
Epilogue  
  
The boys go back to the yaoi hotel to "sleep". Heero sleeps with Trowa, Quatre sleeps with Duo, Zechs sleeps with Treize, Trowa sleeps with Quatre, Heero sleeps with Duo, Wufei sleeps with Trowa, Duo sleeps with Wufei, and Duo sleeps with Relena. RELENA?  
  
The end 


End file.
